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And that means they are exploring the city’s women.On the dates, they flash money around, having never really had it before.Books they read, plays they go to (or star in), people they know, parties they go to—these things are hopefully different than, but complementary to, your own world.The hope is, you’ll learn something interesting, and vice versa.One woman, Violet, a 33-year-old who has lived in the Bay Area for eight years, with one of those in the “belly of the beast,” Palo Alto, experienced many of the same things I and other women did. They had a lot to say about their job, but their development as a complete human being seemed to be stunted. The biggest thing, the thing that bothered me the most is I felt like my intelligence was greatly devalued,” she wrote. “They feel like they’re dealing with someone who has poor social skills, not a lot of style, and isn’t that attractive, or is decently good-looking, successful, or cool, but by default knows it and acts like it, with a huge ego and selfish mind-set in tow.”One woman, Bridget Arlene, spent three years in Seattle for graduate school, and said that she actually moved out of the city, in part because of the type of available men—most of whom had computer science or engineering degrees and worked for Google, Microsoft, or Amazon.
I am a journalist, so I am very good at asking questions to get people to talk about themselves. (I stress “weirdos”—there are few people of color in Seattle.) The weirdos were: young gay boys, old hippies of varying sexuality, straight artists and musicians, softball lesbians, punk-rock dykes who played house music, metal musicians, ravers, or people into the fetish scene.The gender disparity is bad enough in San Francisco that one company, The Dating Ring, has resorted to flying women into San Fran from other cities.“I’ve lived in Seattle for seven years, single most of them,” Annie Pardo, a 31-year-old freelance event and communications consultant in Seattle, wrote in an email.“The only thing that has changed is the increase in men I’d never want to go out on a date with.” She added, “Can’t believe they actually strap on those new employee book bags.No, I spent a half hour or more listening to him talk about his job.Since I am not in the tech industry, I don’t understand any of it.