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A recent study looked into why older women — in this case, women in their 60s and 70s — date. Some had lost satisfying relationships because the men wanted to get married but the women didn’t, sometimes because it would hurt them financially and sometimes because they didn’t want to have to care for anyone else anymore.A few things became clear to the researchers early on — the women treasured their independence and craved companionship. In fact, many said they were not interesting in caretaking ever again — they’d been there and done that.But the research suggests that when you’re chatting with someone online—in a Facebook private message or via the instant messaging function on a dating website—you and the other person may actually be especially authentic in how you present your personality. In general, people are likely to be pretty honest online; most online deception does involve the creation of false identities.It’s certainly true that it can be easier to lie online than offline, particularly about your physical appearance or job.This perception is fueled by sensationalistic cases like the Craigslist Killer and the false identities created by subjects on MTV’s . To address the first issue, there are many ways to meet people online—dating sites, chat rooms or forums, or social networking sites.These venues differ in terms of users' intentions and opportunity for deception.The persistent belief is that women are looking for long-term committed relationship and men are looking for short-term sexual relationships.That may be true for younger people, but that isn’t always the case at this age, she says.

That said, the dating market for older singles isn’t all that easy. There just aren’t that many available singles our age and the ones who are available are an interesting lot (read Anne Lamott’s funny take of her year on to understand).In an earlier post, I discussed how people involved in online relationships can develop intense bonds due to the unique ability for the anonymity and control provided by online interactions to enable expression of the “true self”: traits that a person possesses, but does not normally feel comfortable expressing to others.Research has shown that when we chat online, even briefly, these normally hidden traits become more cognitively accessible to us and we actually do succeed in expressing them to others (Bargh et al., 2002).She believes — and I agree — that more people need to talk openly about this because all older women hear (and thus believe) is that older men are them from the 50-something dating pool ASAP; I’m not interested in men like that so move along, men, and good luck! As a newly single woman after an eight-plus year relationship, I am curious about what to expect this time, now that I’m 50-something instead of 40-something.I, too, am not looking for a husband (although I’m not necessarily against marrying), but I most definitely would like a partner — uhh, with conditions.

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